My new profession

butt splunking.

Yep.. you read that right. Butt splunking.

I am sure that some dr or nurse would CRINGE when they hear this, but it worked and I hope I never have to do it again.

First, you take one very constipated toddler who has been going gangbusters on peeing, but that pooping thing, we just don't have down pat.

Then you take 2 suppositories, insert them (not at the same time), and your child pushes those suppositories out, but, because she had been working SO hard from 7 until 9:15 when her mother came home from church, she was all pushed out.

She wanted her diaper on. She wanted to be left alone. She didn't want anyone helping her, let alone touching her.

She was screaming. She was crying. She was shaking because she was SOOOOO tired.

We left her alone for a while, working on the Girl Scout cookie orders, and at 10, I had had it.

I laid her down on the couch, told my husband that I loved him, and I dove in, pinkie first.

Yes. You read that right. I took some KY (yes, we do have that here!), put it on the end of my pinkie, and dove right in.

It was quite the mother/daughter bonding experience. Not one I will ever want to repeat, but find miraculous the things that we will do for our children. Patrick has physically sucked the snot out of McCayla's nose when she was a baby. I have cleaned up my share of bodily fluid messes. And now, I can categorically state that I know my child's anal opening like the back of my hand.

Or the tip of my pinkie.

Next time I want to bond with her, I think I will take her to tea.